“I don’t want to wait until I’m 73 to embrace my body. To look back and think of my beauty: How did I miss it? Let’s not wait another moment.”

-Ashley Asti

Have you entered the season in life where all of your friends are getting married? I have, and it’s been a season of love and joy and celebration. I’m thrilled my friends are finding their loves, adding new members to our group, and throwing wicked wedding parties. But wedding season also means something else…bridesmaid dresses. Standing in said bridesmaid dress in front of a whole crowd of people. Being photographed left and right, knowing full well your body will be on display in frames and scrapbooks and Facebook albums for years to come.
I would like to preface this piece by saying that I know, as a bridesmaid or a Mistress of Ceremony, the wedding isn’t about ME. It’s about the bride, and the focus, as it rightfully should be, is on the bride. But that doesn’t make that creeping voice of self-doubt any quieter, whispering in your ear that you’re not pretty enough or thin enough to be in the bridal party. It’s still there and for me, especially present when I know I’ll be seen by many, many people who have the opportunity to evaluate and judge me.

I have been in four weddings since 2016 and each time, I’ve gotten a little more ambitious and confident in my fashion. In three of these weddings, we chose our own dresses (based on color theme and length) and one, where I was the Maid of Honor, I went shopping with the bride and tried on dresses for all of the bridesmaids to wear. If you’ve kept up with my blog, you know an area with which I’ve always struggled is my arms. I’ve always been self-conscious of my arms, and especially the way they look in photos. I’ve tried numerous poses, edits, and finally settled on wearing anything and everything that would cover my flabby upper arms. But, as many of you fellow bridal party ladies know, bridesmaid dresses are often sleeveless or even strapless. Being a part of weddings that included dresses where my upper arms showed actually really helped bolster my self-confidence. I wore the one-shoulder dress, pictured above, as Maid of Honor and felt stunning. I was digging my hair, makeup, and myself, and more importantly, I was focused on the beautiful bride and enjoying her special day.

Taking photos with wedding photographers also helped me become more comfortable in front of the camera by myself. If I could pose in a dress that showed my arms and/or legs, I could do ANYTHING. I felt unstoppable and beautiful. Seeing photos after the wedding, there’s always a small part of me that starts to evaluate how I look, but I’ve become better at focusing on my face, the shared look of joy with the bride and other members of the wedding party. I was recently told by a sweet friend that she always sees my smile in photos first, and I’m trying to retain that same mentality when it comes to viewing photos of myself. As I’ve discovered over the years, we are the harshest critics of ourselves. By trying to show ourselves grace and love, we can start to feel a whole lot better and more confident.

I’m also really happy to see retailers start to embrace plus sizing when it comes to bridesmaid dresses. My favorite company is Azazie – please check them out if you haven’t already! I got my Mistress of Ceremony dress for a wedding last weekend at Azazie. They offer sizing from 0 – 30 AND do custom sizing. You can measure yourself, send it in, and have it made JUST FOR YOU. The thing that’s always frustrated me with formal wear (and fashion in general, really) is how much clothing sizes fluctuate. When a friend and I went to try on dresses for her wedding, I tried everything from a size 16 through a size 24. I’m normally a 20, and I was SHOCKED at how tight some of the dresses were (not to mention that sizing really makes people feel bad about themselves!). With Azazie, my dress came in the custom size and was nearly perfect (just a little tweaking in the chest area). It was a great experience overall and I really, truly felt like a princess.